Friday, May 2, 2014

My Littlest, Who's Not So Little Anymore

I am painfully aware that there are only 2 weeks left of Charlie's preschool years.   It seems hard to believe when he's skipping alongside me each morning, holding my hand so tight, that we are down to the final days of what has been our morning routine for the last three years.  Sometimes I catch a glimpse of him and have to do a double take; that long legged, big boy can't possibly be mine.

I am so grateful for all the one on one time we've had together.  It has gone by far too fast though, and I desperately wish that next year wasn't all day, every day, Kindergarten.  We've already made plans for a weekly lunch date.  I want his hands to stay chubby and small, for his little voice to stay raspy and high pitched, for him to take a "nuffie" (stuffed toy) in the car each morning so that I can give it a funny voice and he can ask it all sorts of ridiculous questions, I want my walls filled with hand print art, and I want him to stay innocent and mine.  I don't want to tell him just how much I'll miss him, because I know he'd worry about me.  I once told him I missed him so much when he was at preschool each day and he looked at me and said I don't miss you when I'm at school because I'm with my friends, but I'm always so happy to see you when it is over.  And that's really how I want it to be for him.

Early this week, while hugging in the kitchen....

Charlie: "Mama what do you love most about me?"
Me: " You want me to pick just one thing?"
Charlie: "Yes, the thing you love most."

Me: "Well, your hugs are the best ever, and your beautiful brown eyes, and the way you laugh so easily all the time, and make friends with everyone, and try so hard to do your best at new things, the way you care about your big brother..."
Charlie: "Mama, stop, that's more than one thing." (giggle, giggle)

Me: "What do you love most about me?"
Charlie: "When you hug me, your skin because it feels soft, and you smell good."
Me: "That's more than one thing too."
Charlie: "I can't pick just one thing."
Me: "Neither can I , little love, neither can I."

(I'm guessing some Mother's Day project at school likely sparked that question, but none the less it was just about the sweetest moment and I wanted to make sure I captured it. )


  1. Such a lovely post. My heart aches for you.

  2. Oh Tessa that was just the sweetest! Number 4 just started kindergarten and it has been such an adjustment for him and myself. I do have number five at home with me during the day, so I'm never alone. I will say that as the years go by and I see each child grow and flourish, I find that I miss the baby and toddler years less and less. And I will tell you it is funny and strange to go out for Mexican food and pina coladas with my 24 yr old daughter. I keep thinking she should still be playing with Barbies!

  3. Very sweet! I remember my only child's first day of kindergarten like it was yesterday. I cried all the way home after dropping her off that morning. Yesterday she called to ask me if I could believe that she is finished with her sophomore year of college. No, I absolutely cannot believe the time has gone by so quickly. Cherish each moment, as I am sure you do.

  4. So sweet! Made me ugly cry while in the car on the way back from a swim meet. I looked in the back seat at my (once little) boys. Miss them so much, but having fun still. XO

  5. Oh goodness, that is the sweetest post ever! Those photos of Charlie are precious, especially the last one. I can only imagine what you must be feeling. What a blessing that you have such a special bond with your son. Enjoy every minute.

  6. What a sweet little man you are raising in Charlie, who knows how to give a great compliment and a lot of love. Thanks for sharing such a special moment with us, Tessa.

  7. oh my the tears are flowing, I am in the mist of preparing myself to return to work and leave my boy, its going to break my heart. they are only little for such a short time. Hold onto every minute ~Leslie

  8. Okay... I'm boo-hooing! Seriously. I can relate so much. It's gut-wrenching!