Tuesday, May 15, 2012

May 16th | Fourteen Years Ago..

I know many have wondered about the title of my blog.  Ok, maybe not many, but I've had a few ask.  I blogged about it a couple years ago {here} when I had 3 readers.  9 and 16 are my "lucky" numbers.  The three most important boys in my life have birthdays that occur on one of these days, as does my wedding anniversary to one of them.

May 16th, 1998
{more posts here and here}

We were 24. I wouldn't change a thing about that day.  I loved every minute of it and still remember so much of it in great detail, though we did not have it video taped. It was one of those days where the real thing far exceeded expectations.  I wish more days together were so vividly etched in my memories.


We were married in a beautiful big stone church, with the late afternoon sun streaming in the magnificent stained glass windows, by a really wonderful priest.  I remember being nervous the day we told him we had been living together before we were married. I kept thinking this isn't going to go over well, he'll tell us to separate prior to the wedding.  He didn't.  He was understanding and kind.  I don't remember what his exact words were but he certainly didn't criticize or make us feel guilty.  There were also two pieces of advice he gave us in our "pre-marital counseling" that I do remember almost word for word... One, "always put each other first, even before your children.  Because when your relationship comes first, your children will benefit for the rest of their lives by the example they see and by the security they feel. You will have the biggest influence on their beliefs about love and relationships."  Let me be the first to say that this advice is true and very, very hard to follow.  It isn't always the case with us and it's something we struggle with but we make an effort and occasionally get it right.  The second piece of advice was "don't keep score".  When we were 23 this didn't really resonate.  But at 38, two children later, when Jimmy's been out of town for a week and I've tended to every nightmare, tummy ache, homework assignment, temper tantrum, meal and bedtime, I WANT to keep score.  And then I hear that advice echo in my head. "There are going to be times when one of you is pulling a heavier load.  Throughout your life though it will balance out. Remember you are on the same team." So true, and for a man that was never married, I always marvel at his insight on this one.  Jimmy has had his share of pulling the heavier load too.


A few weeks ago I read this advice on pinterest...

"Marry the right person.  This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery"

Hmmm. This is certainly debatable.  I don't know how true this is for everyone, but for me, I'd say it is pretty spot on.  For my happiness is, in most ways, linked to Jimmy.  For being on my side, for the way he makes me feel about myself, for his support and admiration of me as a mother, for his friendship, for his unconditional love, for still flirting with me, for simply "getting me" better than anyone else, for listening to music and singing while he does the dishes, and for making our sons laugh so hard no sound comes out.  Yes, those things, and many more, bring me great happiness indeed.

Happy 14th, my love!
xoxoxo

17 comments :

  1. Congratulations and Happy Anniversary!

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  2. What a beautiful couple you two are!
    Happy Anniversary!

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  3. What a great post. You are such a beautiful couple - Happy Anniversary! (We got married in 1998 too!)
    -Shelley

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  4. Congratulations on your anniversary and what a beautiful couple and wedding! Wonderful post!

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  5. Happy anniversary! Your wedding looked beautiful in the pictures. I especially like the photo of you two laughing...precious!
    The advice from your priest is very very wise - and often hard to do here also.

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  6. Happy Anniversary! What a lovely post.

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  7. I hear you on so many counts! Have a lovely anniversary. - Sarah

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  8. Happy Anniversary! And thank you for being such a wonderful example for those of us who haven't ventured down that road yet.

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  9. Happy Anniversary! Ours is on the 20th. A great month to get married!

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  10. Beautifully written - Happy Anniversary!

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  11. Happy Anniversary! Here's to 916 more (:

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  12. So sweet, Tessa! I have wondered about your blog name before and thought maybe it was your street address :). You were such a beautiful bride. So classic. I agree about marrying your best friend. It makes life so much much tolerable to get through the hard times. I hope you set aside some time to enjoy your groom!

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  13. Hi Tessa! Your wedding photos are so sweet and beautiful and what great marriage advice!!! My wedding anniversary was yesterday, so I've got marriage love on my mind and loved reading this :)

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  14. Love this post! You look beautiful and the words in the post were lovely. Hope your day was wonderful. Cheers to a good life.

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  15. You look lovely! What a wonderful post. Happy Anniversary!

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  16. Happy Anniversary!
    You looked absolutely beautiful on your wedding day!

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  17. Hi,
    I just had a quick question in regards to your website. If you could email me at your convenience that would be great!

    Thanks,
    Katie

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